Trevor Overcomes Daunting Trials of Childhood

December 2003 - Kotzebue, AK

In Kotzebue, the Creed home has three bedrooms. The two boys sleep in one bedroom, the two girls in another, with both pairs in bunk beds. The two older kids have always slept on the top bunks, with the twins on the bottom.

In September, Trevor began sleeping alone in his room after Myles went away to school. At first Trevor seemed to be adjusting well to his older brother's absence, although parents often can't always know how their children are really feeling. Parents must listen and be attentive, especially after a big change such as a sibling leaving home. Parents must seize the moment when a kid wants to talk about stuff.

One day after Myles had been away for a few weeks, Trevor started a series of questions.

"When is Myles coming home?" Trevor asked.

"He'll be home at Christmas," answered his dad, John, Trevor obviously was really missing his big brother now that the poor little guy was all alone in his room, thought Dad, so he sat down next to his son, put his arm around him, and waited for the next question.

"How long will Myles be here when he comes back?" Trevor asked. How sweet, thought John. How sensitive. And this kid's just seven years old.

"Myles should be home for about three weeks or so, Trev. You'll get to do lots of fun things with him, just like before," replied John, satisfied so far with how heart-to-heart this was developing.

"Where will Myles sleep?" Trevor asked, squinting his eyes, cocking his head, really wanting to know. It almost seemed like a life-or-death issue to him.

"Myles will sleep right here in this room with his little brother again," replied John, smiling while rustling his young son's hair. Dad then started beaming about Trevor becoming so attached to his older brother. Dad was impressed that Trevor seemed to be opening up about missing Myles so much that he wanted to make sure they would be sleeping in the same bedroom again-- just like old times. It doesn't get much better than that, right?

Sure. Now that Trevor had all the information he needed, he showed what was really on his mind-- and laid down the law.

"Myles won't be sleeping in the top bunk, because that's mine now!" he declared.